purplemonkeydishwasher

I've got a bit of a problem. I'm an introvert at heart. There is a part of me that says "Look at me! Look at me!" but that part remains buried most of the time. This stage dancing attention whore never sees the light of day and is generally only released by copious amounts of alcohol.

The real me is nervous. I have no reservations about being married to L, I'm worried about the PROCESS of marring him. When I picture us at the alter, I get that 'I'm going to pee my pants' feeling. Not because I'm afraid of being married, but because EVERYBODY WILL BE LOOKING AT ME. I have this crazy notion that I will say my vows wrong. (I will be repeating why the minister says-how can I screw it up?) I'm afraid I'm going to open my mouth and say purplemonkeydishwasher instead of what I'm supposed to say.

I realize that the whole point of the big white dress is to draw attention to myself. And I'm okay with that at the reception, but the ceremony freaks me out!